Today is World Mental Health Day…My tribute to those who have mental illness and have to constantly live with the stigma of the illness. Two young patients in their late teens consulted me today. I guess this poem written by me is a reflection of that consultation.
Untethered on the edge I wander-
of forced normality
Lured by what lay yonder
My irrational reality
Spiraling into a chaotic world
Of swirling, storming gray
Where things were how they were not
A mind in constant disarray
Where malevolent shadowy people
Haunt my waking world
Where incessant voices of evil
Echo unseen, but not unheard
Where my moods have lost their rhythm
And my words fail to rhyme
And as my mind slips into a schism
What reigns is pandemonium
Am I a visitor in this path
Or forever destined to stay
And as the carnage rips me apart
Am I cursed till my dying day
Teetering on the edge of insanity
I view the world askance
As the sane world, your “fictional” reality
Points fingers at me, takes a “noble” stance
Amidst this I yearn…
For a second of sweet silence
For a night of unhaunted sleep
For a day of unfettered freedom
For a moment of serenity
And a lifetime of pure sanity
Commentary:
Stanza 1: Forced normality: People do not understand the signs of mental illness and they force those affected to be normal. Irrational reality: Though the thoughts/feelings/beliefs of a mentally ill person may seem irrational to the outside world, for the patients what they are very, very real
Stanza 3: Malevolent shadowy people: Visual hallucination the ill-person experiences
Waking world is the person’s conscience
Incessant voices of evil: Uncontrolled auditory hallucination
Moods losing rhythm: Normally one’s mood are in congruence with one’s thoughts. In mental illness the poetic dance between our moods and thoughts is lost. For example a person may think that someone is trying to kill him, but may laugh while saying this
Words losing rhyme: People with mental disorders lose clarity of thoughts and expression. In medical terms this is called as formal thought disorder
Schism: Means splitting of the mind
Stanza 4: The patient is asking if she will get cured or is this going to be a chronic problem
Stanza 5: Speaks of stigma of mental illness. Even normal people perceive reality differently. What I think of a situation, another person may not think the same. In essence every reality is created by our mind, i.e. it is fictional.
